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A Pregnant Pause

As the weeks went by, I did find my arthritis was nowhere near as bad as before. Sometimes I'd get through a whole week without any pain. I didn’t even suffer with sickness; it was amazing! I felt like a new person and though I knew it wouldn’t be for long, it was still nice to have some relief from the aches and pains I usually had to endure. While there were days where I had some pain, it was nowhere near what I was used to before getting pregnant.

Then suddenly it was time for my 20-week scan, and I was going to find out whether or not I’d be having another little boy or a baby girl! I can't lie; I LOVED the idea of having a girl. I suppose I was thinking, well I have a boy so it would be nice to have a baby girl too. I have always wanted one of each, but then I guess it’s not an ideal world and there are many people that don’t. However, don’t get me wrong, I was happy with either as long as it was healthy. That was all that really mattered.

Nervous news and a few tears

During my scan the midwife took all the measurements she needed and advised that the baby looked amazing, the right size etcetera and healthy as far as she could see. They did question a few things; however, these were soon dealt with and she said they would keep an eye on us with regular scans and appointments. She also asked whether or not we would like to know what we were having. Of course, we said yes - we are far too impatient!

She then told us it was another little boy. I was over the moon that our baby was fine and appeared to be healthy, but in truth I was a little disheartened. I knew this baby would be my last, so it also hit me that I would never have a baby girl of my own. I hope that doesn’t sound selfish, but I am trying to be honest and tell my story truthfully. It hurt, but I am and always will be thankful for my beautiful, happy, healthy boys.

Struggling with the lack of medication

From then, the pregnancy seemed to go super-fast. Did anyone else find their second pregnancy seemed much quicker than the first? One minute I found out I was expecting a baby the next he was almost here. But then, in contrast to my earlier experience, the last eight or so weeks were horrendous. It was as if my body was giving me an idea of what was to come. I was so, so tired. I would go to bed at 8pm and still be super tired when I got up at 7am with Harry.

The pains started to return with a vengeance, and I could barely walk. I felt my body was like a dead weight I couldn’t support. My hips felt so sore, I couldn’t get comfortable no matter what I tried, and I was struggling to sleep. At this point I just wanted the baby to arrive. I was so fed up and I felt hopeless because I had no help, no medication of course, literally nothing to relieve the pain. I just had to get through it.

My last appointment came at the hospital a couple of weeks later. They checked everything over but were slightly worried as they could see the placenta was starting to calcify and the baby didn’t seem to be growing as he had been. They told me to come back in a week and if things hadn't changed, I would be induced. Well I was 38 weeks by then so being induced wasn’t a huge worry for me, more a relief actually...he was finally going to be here, and I would hopefully be rid of this awful pain and suffering! A week later I duly returned to hear that the placenta was continuing to calcify, so the decision was made to bring me in for induction two days later. I obviously wasn’t as scared the second time as I was with Harry (also induced) as I knew what to expect. I also thought it might be easier going than the first time which, don’t get me wrong, was still painful, but now I was more prepared.

False hope and some scary moments

Well, what did I know! This induction was much worse than with Harry. It was far more painful, and seemed so much more heightened, which I struggled to understand...was it because it was my second baby or was it because of my condition? I kind of just got on with it, tried to breathe the best I could and get through it. I was convinced I was in labour and having contractions but one of the midwives there was sure I wasn’t, and she just told me it would settle down. It didn’t, it got far worse! And I started to bleed heavily which was not the greatest thing to happen as I'm such an anxious person and everybody gets so worried by blood. I was thinking, what does all this mean? Is it normal? Am I ok? Am I going to die? Why are they all so easy going and not worried about something I felt was so worrying?

In the end they did get slightly concerned because they were so sure I wasn’t in labour. But I was and had been for a long time! Only when they acknowledged that did they actually give me something to help the pain, before moving me somewhere more comfortable. They had been giving me pethidine which eased the symptoms but really didn’t do a lot. However, once I was moved I was given gas and air, and within half an hour he was here. It happened so fast; Mike also only arrived half an hour before Alfie was born because he too did not believe I was in labour. Ha. Well, I can be a drama queen sometimes, so I don’t entirely blame him!


Next time… I will talk about life with chronic illness, no medication AND a newborn! 

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